You are currently viewing the NOPE365 forum as a guest, meaning you will not be able to do anything other than read through the main feed and will only see posts that the owner has allowed for public consumption (~30% of all posts). If you want to see everything NOPE365 has to offer then please register for a new account, it's totally free and allows you to experience all of NOPE365!You are currently viewing the NOPE365 forum as a guest, meaning you will not be able to do anything other than read through the main feed and will only see posts that the owner has allowed for public consumption (~30% of all posts). If you want to see everything NOPE365 has to offer then please register for a new account, it's totally free and allows you to experience all of NOPE365!
Suggestion Box Robert M closed only means people have to join it to see it in their feed, I've only set a few "key" groups as being open (like cravings for...
In Memory of CAT, Carol Tipton Capiton 12/25/52-5/24/17
Laura E. lauroge 2424 Days Quit
2 years ago (unknown date)
It is with sadness that I post a memorial for our dear Quitnet friend @Carol T., who passed away on Wednesday after struggling for more than one year with lung cancer.
Carol quit smoking 11 years ago and had encouraged many at the Q, including me, with her wit and grit! She was a wonderful storyteller and thoughtful friend. Her daughter, Eliza, has written some thoughts and memories of Carol for us at the Q. If you would like to leave comments about our friend, Carol T., on this post or send private messages to me for her daughter, I will pass them along.
5/27/14---
Several months ago in January my Mom shared with this community about her illness. I think it noteworthy that a woman such as my mother who deeply guarded her privacy would share an intensely personal struggle with a group of strangers on the internet.
This shows me what a safe, strong, loving community all of you have created as well as what a vital part this community played in my Mom’s life. My sincerest and heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you for creating this place where people can come together, be loved and supported completely without fear of judgment. Thank you for enhancing my mother's life so greatly.
For giving her the freedom to be honest when she so desperately needed it. I have so much gratitude in my heart for all of you.
My mom passed away on Wednesday 5/24 after fighting for one year and one and a half weeks against aggressive
adenocarcinoma.
Initially when she was diagnosed she refused to tell anyone except for myself and my husband. I was honored to have her trust. She gave me an incredible gift by putting her trust in me and I did everything in my power to honor her wishes. However I felt that she needed more than just my husband and myself in her corner and eventually, much to my relief, she agreed.
After 8 months of being her secret keeper and support we got the news that her cancer had metastasized and was now in her brain. She reached out to all of you first and was met with such love that it gave her the strength to tell a small group of friends.
She first underwent a lobectomy of the left lung. This was in June of 2016. Her recovery was long, painful and had many set backs but initially following the surgery she was deemed cancer free. She had a solitary dose of chemotherapy after the surgery that left her in stage 4 kidney failure until the end of her life.
Evetually her six-month pet scan was scheduled for the end of December and as of a CT scan in November she was still cancer free. By the end of December when the pet scan results came in the cancer had returned and the new mass was larger than the original.
Unfortunately when she went in for another surgery in January the tumor had grown even more and was now in the main pulmonary artery so it could not be resected. We found out a couple of weeks after the failed surgery that the cancer had also metastasized.
Over following months she underwent radiation for the brain lesions, immunotherapy and finally several rounds of chemotherapy. She never once stopped fighting or believing that she could beat it. I think her incredible stubbornness and steely resolve (the same character traits that caused us to butt heads constantly) helped to keep her alive. Despite how sick the treatments made her the only time she ever came close to complaining was when she started to lose her hair. That she absolutely could not tolerate.
Mother's Day weekend of this year, exactly one year after the initial diagnosis she took a sudden turn for the worse. She was admitted to the hospital on the Monday following for a blood transfusion what would turn out to be fungal Pneumonia. She remained in the hospital for a week and a half until she finally passed away quietly in her sleep.
My mom was pretty amazing in my eyes, and as I am discovering, in the eyes of many others. I want to share with you a few things about her that you probably don't know. It would sadden me to have her legacy be cancer when she was so much more than the illness that brought her life to an end too soon.
My mom was a WAC (Women’s Army Corp). She was an MP (military police) in the army during the Vietnam era. As evidenced by her voluntary service to her country in a time when the overall sentiment toward the military was less than favorable she was never afraid to go against the grain. Mom marched to her own drummer. She idolized her Father who served with the Army during WWII and wanted to follow in his footsteps which is in part why she enlisted.
She was the 2nd oldest of 7 children (2 boys, 5 girls) and the eldest of 5 girls. Starting in early February she developed a relationship with one of her younger sisters that was stronger than when they were children. Her sister was a tremendous amount of support.
She was the spitting image of her Mother and the only one of her siblings with blond hair and her mother's hazel green eyes.
In high school she played the saxophone and studied German for years. Her first year of college was spent in Germany and she longed to return there some day. When she left Germany she spoke fluent German so well that the Germans thought her to be a native.
She was an incredible seamstress and made all of her own clothes starting in high school and until sometime in her 20's. She was also skilled in needlepoint and created beautiful tapestries. When I was growing up she made dresses for my dolls that matched my own clothes and every year at Halloween I had a new costume that she had worked on for months. I don't think that I've ever owned a store bought costume thanks to her gifted hands.
To honor her Middle Eastern heritage, Sometime in the early 80's she took belly dancing lessons and eventually started competing. Naturally she made her costume- it was gorgeous and incredibly detailed. Eventually she stopped sewing and focused her creative energy on baking.
This woman could create the most delicate confections and savory breads that would make the angels weep. After she was diagnosed with Celiac Disease sometime around 90/91 she worked hard to develop a flour blend and bread recipes that actually tasted like bread. She had so many people requesting her delicious gluten free baked goods that she started a small catering company. She volunteered tirelessly with the celiac disease foundation for years.
While I was growing up, about every month and a half she'd take me out to have ice cream sundaes for dinner. For someone who didn't care much for sweets she firmly believed in having dessert for dinner. She loved to read and passed that on to me along with so many other gifts. I've often teased her about her choice of reading material- romance novels. My mom had a romantic streak that was very sweet. Her sense of humor was wickedly sharp. She baked constantly but rarely ate sweets.
Her birthday was on Christmas Day and coming from such a large family never had a birthday party until she went to college. To compensate for that my Mom and I started a tradition where we celebrated Christmas in the morning and the afternoon and evening we're set aside for her birthday and included a birthday cake and dinner of her choosing.
She was stubborn, bullheaded and stood firm in her convictions. We clashed constantly and were the exact opposite in our political views among many other things. Despite our vast differences we were incredibly alike and often had conversations lasting several hours at a stretch and we laughed constantly. We teased each other mercilessly. I have a very dark and dry sense of humor which really comes out when I'm stressed. We spent hours in her hospital room making "yo' momma" jokes about cancer and making up inappropriate stories about creepy nurses who take photos of peoples bums to sell on the internet.
On two separate occasions she laughed so hard the monitor became disconnected and a team of nurses came running into her room which only made us laugh harder.
It drove her crazy that I always wore black- my mother gravitated towards bright vibrant colors like fuchsia and turquoise, but never yellow. Yellow or orange washed out her fair complexion and left her looking sallow and jaundiced. She had a pair of red high heel shoes that she refused to get rid of even after degenerative hip problems made them impossible to wear.
She threw the most amazing parties for not just me but every year there would be a holiday party that was talked about by co-workers and friends until the next one. She was a terrific hostess and loved to entertain.
She loved baseball and had season passes to the Dodgers for many years. It gave her so much joy to take my grandfather to his last Dodger game. We spent many a Mother's Day together at Dodger stadium.
You never wanted to be in the passenger seat if she was driving. She was a terrible diver and could bring on motion sickness in even the sturdiest of constitutions. She was also prone to road rage. She had a temper that was balanced with a generous heart.
She taught Sunday school when I was young but never argued with me when I decided on my own spiritual beliefs. She was loved by all of my friends who also called her mom and none of my boyfriends were ever good enough. It took her 3 years to warm up to my husband and the father of her only grandchild.
She was a fierce protective momma bear.
My mom had a knack for puzzles of all types and loved to play games. She was quite the card shark. While you never wanted to drive with her you did want to accompany her to Vegas- her luck at gambling was uncanny and often rubbed off on the person with her. She never made a trip to Vegas when she didn't return having paid for her trip in its entirety with her winnings and often quite a bit extra as well.
Thinking it would provide a pleasant diversion my husband and I suggested that she download Pokémon Go. We had no idea of the monster we had unleashed. She was obsessed and sent us screenshots of every new Pokémon she captured.
She loved to help people, was humorous, creative and very complex. Just when I thought I had her completely figured out she would do or say something that shocked the hell out of me.
Her influence made me the woman I am today and her loss will forever leave a hole in my heart that I know can not be filled. I miss her, but most of all I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to know her.
Several years ago she bought a house- the tiniest little doll house that you can envision. In her back yard there was a grapefruit tree and hummingbirds nested in it. She placed feeders for them all around the yard and eventually her yard resembled a bird sanctuary. They loved my mother and would often come right up to her face and chatter at her. There was also a gorgeous blue scrub jay that believed he owned her yard and she indulged him lovingly. She loved to watch her bird friends and take photos of them. Anytime she was going to be away for more than a handful of hours she made arrangements with a neighbor to make sure that her birds were properly tended to and the feeders clean and filled. She went through a 10 lb. bag of sugar every month to feed her feathered friends. We spent many mornings sitting in the yard, sipping coffee and watching their antics while talking quietly.
Because her grandson would not be able to go to the hospital to say goodbye, we asked him if he wanted to write his gamma a letter or record a video to send her. He chose to write a letter. The only help he asked for was how to spell some of the words. These words were 100% from his heart to his gamma.
The letter said, "I love you grandma. I will see you when the hummingbirds come. Love, Rylan."
We all believe that my Mom’s spirit animal is a hummingbird. I was contacted yesterday by someone she volunteered with who wanted to tell me a story. When he was opening up his classroom yesterday morning a hummingbird flew inside the room. In all the years he's been teaching he's never had a bird fly into his classroom nor has he ever seen a hummingbird anywhere on the school grounds. He was convinced that it was my mom.
Yesterday morning we were also visited by a hummingbird, this one chattering loudly. I imagined it was scolding me for wearing my usual black and telling me to brush my hair.
We had another one visit this morning, chattering loudly to get our attention while we ate breakfast in the other room. I am absolutely convinced that she is making the rounds and checking up on all of us.
Instead of a memorial service or a funeral I will be hosting a party to celebrate her life and her vibrancy. She loved this idea and it is my distinct honor to be able to do this for her. She deserves to be remembered and celebrated for the complex, energetic, funny, stubborn, creative woman that she was.
Thank you all for loving and supporting my mom. I know it was mutual. She shared stories of the Q with me often. You have something very special here, I hope that you never stop nourishing it! I will be forever grateful.
Carol quit smoking 11 years ago and had encouraged many at the Q, including me, with her wit and grit! She was a wonderful storyteller and thoughtful friend. Her daughter, Eliza, has written some thoughts and memories of Carol for us at the Q. If you would like to leave comments about our friend, Carol T., on this post or send private messages to me for her daughter, I will pass them along.
My mom passed away on Wednesday 5/24 after fighting for one year and one and a half weeks against aggressive
After 8 months of being her secret keeper and support we got the news that her cancer had metastasized and was now in her brain. She reached out to all of you first and was met with such love that it gave her the strength to tell a small group of friends.
She first underwent a lobectomy of the left lung. This was in June of 2016. Her recovery was long, painful and had many set backs but initially following the surgery she was deemed cancer free. She had a solitary dose of chemotherapy after the surgery that left her in stage 4 kidney failure until the end of her life.
Evetually her six-month pet scan was scheduled for the end of December and as of a CT scan in November she was still cancer free. By the end of December when the pet scan results came in the cancer had returned and the new mass was larger than the original.
Unfortunately when she went in for another surgery in January the tumor had grown even more and was now in the main pulmonary artery so it could not be resected. We found out a couple of weeks after the failed surgery that the cancer had also metastasized.
Over following months she underwent radiation for the brain lesions, immunotherapy and finally several rounds of chemotherapy. She never once stopped fighting or believing that she could beat it. I think her incredible stubbornness and steely resolve (the same character traits that caused us to butt heads constantly) helped to keep her alive. Despite how sick the treatments made her the only time she ever came close to complaining was when she started to lose her hair. That she absolutely could not tolerate.
In high school she played the saxophone and studied German for years. Her first year of college was spent in Germany and she longed to return there some day. When she left Germany she spoke fluent German so well that the Germans thought her to be a native.
She was an incredible seamstress and made all of her own clothes starting in high school and until sometime in her 20's. She was also skilled in needlepoint and created beautiful tapestries. When I was growing up she made dresses for my dolls that matched my own clothes and every year at Halloween I had a new costume that she had worked on for months. I don't think that I've ever owned a store bought costume thanks to her gifted hands.
To honor her Middle Eastern heritage, Sometime in the early 80's she took belly dancing lessons and eventually started competing. Naturally she made her costume- it was gorgeous and incredibly detailed. Eventually she stopped sewing and focused her creative energy on baking.
This woman could create the most delicate confections and savory breads that would make the angels weep. After she was diagnosed with Celiac Disease sometime around 90/91 she worked hard to develop a flour blend and bread recipes that actually tasted like bread. She had so many people requesting her delicious gluten free baked goods that she started a small catering company. She volunteered tirelessly with the celiac disease foundation for years.
While I was growing up, about every month and a half she'd take me out to have ice cream sundaes for dinner. For someone who didn't care much for sweets she firmly believed in having dessert for dinner. She loved to read and passed that on to me along with so many other gifts. I've often teased her about her choice of reading material- romance novels. My mom had a romantic streak that was very sweet. Her sense of humor was wickedly sharp. She baked constantly but rarely ate sweets.
Her birthday was on Christmas Day and coming from such a large family never had a birthday party until she went to college. To compensate for that my Mom and I started a tradition where we celebrated Christmas in the morning and the afternoon and evening we're set aside for her birthday and included a birthday cake and dinner of her choosing.
She was stubborn, bullheaded and stood firm in her convictions. We clashed constantly and were the exact opposite in our political views among many other things. Despite our vast differences we were incredibly alike and often had conversations lasting several hours at a stretch and we laughed constantly. We teased each other mercilessly. I have a very dark and dry sense of humor which really comes out when I'm stressed. We spent hours in her hospital room making "yo' momma" jokes about cancer and making up inappropriate stories about creepy nurses who take photos of peoples bums to sell on the internet.