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Tavainya, Three categories of Quitters Jan 2 2019

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1q2 S
1q2 S Discussion started by 1q2 S 5 years ago
Tavainya Jan 2 2019   Three categories of Quitters

I see that a lot of people did a New Year's post yesterday, but I was busy yesterday resting and being a hockey fan (my team is finally winning some games) so I figured I'd do one today for those of us who are new and need some advice and for those of you who just want a post from me that doesn't include someone being hospitalized.

Have you ever tried so hard to convince someone to come over to your side in a debate and it seems like they're coming around, and then they say something that is like "Oh man, you were almost there"? It's frustrating right? It's because you know they have an idea but they are holding on to something from the other side of the argument that they just can't let go.  

That's how I feel daily on this site. So many people here (I included) will say things like "all you have to do is DFS" or "it's going to be uncomfortable, so be prepared" and still day after day people get caught in the relapse cycle. Why is that? What are people holding on to from the other other side?  
I've found that there are at least three types of people who keep getting caught:

1. This person thinks that they are destined to smoke/stay on the relapse wheel for all eternity even if they don't outright say it, their actions prove that point. - This person will take a while to come around. They're not even arguing the points that we are arguing. They have to first get to the point where they are even considering that quitting takes considerable work and while spontaneous cessation is a thing, it's probably not going to happen to them. 
2. The almost there person - This person is the one who posts about trying to quit, but...

But I just had to have the morning cig

But I just needed to start over

But it was too hard

But I was over my head in wine, etc. etc. etc.
This person gets it but they are still hung up on a few small items. Things that they think are way too hard to overcome. This is where we come in (those of us in number 3 below) because we can totally debate the fact that those things are not what leads people to smoke and in fact it is a choice that you make. In the moment, it doesn't feel like it, but it is absolutely a choice that you make.
3. Those of us who have an understanding of DFS and the uncomfortable feelings that come from quitting and are doing it. -Y'all keep doing y'all's thing.  
So, for 2019. I'm going to be better at separating the number 1s from the number 2s while still hanging with my favorite number 3s (if that made sense). 
Also, for those stuck in the number 2 position, the only rule you have to follow is DFS. How you get there is totally up to you. I never took smoking off the table. It's there, just like eating a whole cake is. Doesn't mean I'm going to do it. I know where I can find cigs but I also know where I can find milk. I just find milk to be more important.

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