What Do The WINNERS Have In Common
What Do The WINNERS Have In Common
From: allsfair 2013-12-13 13:07:35
The WINNERS here are the people who are smoke free and know how to stay smoke free. What are some of the things that the WINNERS have in common? WINNERS try to do all these things to the best of their ability. Is anyone perfect? Of course not, but the point is to do your best on a day to day basis, one day at a time.
First, the WINNERS understand that there's just one way to stay smoke free: don't smoke even if your $@!#% falls off. There isn't a reason, cause, excuse or issue that should be a RESERVATION to relapse. If you make the RESERVATION (if such and such happens I may smoke) you will certainly smoke and relapse.
Second, the WINNERS stick with the WINNERS - they don't put themselves in situations that threaten their smoke free status. If you go to the barbershop every day eventually you're going to get a haircut. Stay out of places and away from people that are associated with heavy smoking or your own personal triggers. Stay with the non-smokers, etc. On site and elsewhere, aspiring WINNERS don't tell us all how great they are and how smoke free they are - they just show us - one day at a time, over the long haul. It's great that you can sound good with 100 days or whatever - when you're still here 3 years from now we'll all be much more impressed.
Third, the WINNERS maintain a positive attitude. They don't go on other people's threads and disagree, and start arguments, especially when they have virtually zero experience at this. They don't continually and continuously act in a negative or angry way. They don't show up on every post just to challenge or wave their (virtual) arms around like an orangutan over something they don't agree with or some word they didn't like. Face it, all these anger issues are relapse triggers. The angrier you get and are on a regular basis, the closer you are to relapse. Remember that and stay cool, and stay away from these kind of people. This isn't high school and they aren't the "cool kids." Unless you're the Dalai Lama, you're going to get angry - but if you're living in anger, you're in a dangerous place with respect to relapse triggers.
Fourth, the WINNERS know that no matter what happens today, they will not smoke. They also know that they are eligible for relapse at any moment if they are not diligent and if they don't jealously guard their quits. Ask anyone who has a long term quit and they will tell you: staying smoke free has to come first.
Fifth, the WINNERS know they are staying smoke free one day at a time. They aren't "missing smoking" or romanticizing what amounts to suicide by tobacco. It's a dirty, filthy habit, there's nothing good to say about it, it didn't do anything of any value for you and you killed yourself while paying cigarette companies a king’s ransom to kill yourself. How ridiculous is the concept that smoking was in some way "beneficial" to you. Your addict brain had you in a choke hold.
Finally, the WINNERS know that they are one false move away from relapse and act, think, and express themselves accordingly. They don't tell themselves stories about "being in control" because they remember what it was like to be completely out of control - to be addicted to something so horribly uncontrollable that you would consciously and continuously choose to kill yourself bit by bit 10 - 20 - 40 times a day, every day. No, no, you already proved you're not very good at "control." The WINNERS seek out, practice and share the principles of recovery from active addiction.
If you're new, please know that you can do this. You do NOT have to relapse and smoke. You do not have to feel that guilt and feeling of failure. You can do this focusing on not smoking one day, or even one hour at a time, and by understanding that your inner addict is a liar and wants to kill you. We work a type of strategy here at the Q that is closely related to other recovery processes. You should learn more about them because just staying smoke free is the first step. You want to change all of your behavioral and psychological addictions to smoking as well, and that's going to take some time, one day at a time.
Decide to be good to yourself today, and don't smoke. The rest will come over time. If you stay smoke free, you'll get there. If you think you're "there" or "arrived somewhere" you've already lost.
So again, is anyone perfect? No, of course not, and we all have days when we are better at some things than others, and days when it's just impossible to live a perfect program of recovery. However, if you do and practice these six things to the best of your ability, you are going to stand a fighting chance because when the hard days come, you've already put in the process and changed your psychology enough that you won't give up or give in, and that's the whole point of quitting smoking in the first place - not smoking - isn't it?
Houston