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The dramatic exit post ;o)
A few tips about the dramatic exit
From juggler on 1/16/2002 8:25:42 AM
Sadly, the Q seems to have disposed of nearly all of the seminal departure posts that were safely stored in the "And so farewell" club. Some of them were truly fantastic, not least the poster who likened himself to Jesus Christ and all those who disagreed with him as nazis. There are a few things to bear in mind when penning these valedictions. Outrage and injured innocence should be constant themes. Try and follow this basic structure.
First a bold and dramatic lead which announces your intentions to deprive the group of your sparkling input. If possible, it should be made clear that the act has been forced upon you by external evil forces. Avoid understatement at all costs when it comes to explaining the impact this has had on your battered psyche."I'm outta here!! I'm already on the edge of a nervous breakdown and can no longer take the cruelty of the people on this so called "support" group!! It was clear from the start I didn't fit in!!"
Apologize in a fashion that makes it clear that you are entirely blameless but are merely a simple martyr who is much misunderstood. Have a stab at some blunt sarcasm aimed at one of the blue meanies who drove you out of town.
"I'm sorry that some of the idiots here can't understand that all I want to do is help others and get help from them in turn. And I'm sorry to the majority of the nice decent people who have the whole thing spoiled by the actions of the mean and nasty guys here who don't understand what we are going through. And you Billiejobutthead are are sooooo perfect….yeah!!!!!
Make it clear that the nasty vocal minority do not represent the Q as a whole and that you care deeply that everyone else will succeed in their quit although some strange predestined force means that you will not be able to share their success.
"Well I hope that you guys all come through despite all the mean negativity we get from some guys round here. I will be setting a new quit date next week/month.year`and will just tough it out without the Q.
If you are a really shameless AW, you might implore others at this point not to try and talk you out of it.
"My mind is made up. I have no choice but to take on the nicodemon in my own way"Sign off suggesting you are leaving more in sadness than anger while making little effort to hide your white-hot rage.
"Well congratulations you meanies!!! You've got what you wanted - I'm off. And I wish all the rest of you a wonderful life!!!"Close out with some hugs and cyber tears and don't be seen on the Q for about 48 hours when you announce your return in defiant style citing a sackful of Qmail begging you to stay, a right to free speech and a new found determination not to let the "few rotten apples" ruin your quit, particularly Billiejobutthead who will not ruin things for you again…until the next time.
One style point - overuse exclamation points.And do it in quitstop or you get mean old critters like f00l telling you to bugger off.
BTW - this is not meant as a cruel rejoinder to some of the recent farewellers.I'm a serial goodbye merchant myself (because of all the mean ones here who fracture my fragile ego and ruin the forum for everyone else) but thankfully the harrowing Qmail I get when I leave draws me back to the Hotel California.
Bye.